Roommate gone for night looking fun

Added: Rolando Hargett - Date: 20.01.2022 14:50 - Views: 10336 - Clicks: 4024

I am a woman in my mids and live with a female roommate in Massachusetts. We have been under a stay-at-home advisory because of Covid, and we both now work remotely. For the past few weeks, I have been practicing social distancing, going out only to the supermarket and for walks and runs and keeping six feet between myself and others. My roommate, however, has continued to see her boyfriend. He comes over to our apartment every day around dinnertime.

They typically cook dinner in our kitchen and then he stays over.

Roommate gone for night looking fun

The next morning, he eats breakfast in our living room and goes to his apartment to work remotely. He comes back to our apartment after work and does it all over again.

Roommate gone for night looking fun

The roommates are continuing to see several friends. This makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe. My understanding is that we should be limiting our social interactions and operating only within a closed circle and ideally not outside of our own household. My roommate refused to accept any of these options. She insisted that it is her right to see her boyfriend and that she does not believe she is flouting the stay-at-home advisory. She told me that it is unreasonable of me to ask that she alter her behavior and that I am trying to assert control over what she does.

She also presented a compromise: cleaning the common areas after using them and trying to ensure that the two of us come into as little contact as possible throughout the day. She might be comfortable assuming the risks of her actions; I am not. This virus transmits easily, and having her boyfriend in the house every day introduces unknown factors into our household. Am I being unreasonable? Name Withheld. Because love is, for many of us, a central source of meaning in our lives, we have to figure out how to balance it against other concerns and obligations.

That, in essence, is the challenge facing your roommate and her boyfriend. And in offering solutions that allow them to stay together, you are rightly acknowledging these realities; there is a difference between a consuming love and an all-consuming one.

In this case, helping them find the right balance is a task that has a particular urgency. When you are engaged in social distancing, you are doing two things, as you point out. One is merely prudent and self-interested: you are lowering the probability of your acquiring this disease. This part of distancing is, in large part, altruistic.

We do it for the sake of our community and, especially, for the sake of those who, owing to their age or underlying health conditions, face particular peril. We do it to reduce the burden on our health care system and on the heroic workers who are keeping it going. Now, we could have adopted a policy of exempting people who want to have their boyfriends over each day for dinner and a sleepover followed by a cozy breakfast.

The recommended policy is the one your letter describes, and the evidence suggests that it is working, even though some people — out of ignorance, foolishness or wickedness — are breaching it. When a policy is working Roommate gone for night looking fun the general good, we owe it to one another and to the community to do our fair share. A great many people are depriving themselves of face-to-face contacts they would enjoy.

The policy works because small sacrifices by many people can produce a very large and lifesaving benefit. By defecting from the policy, your roommate is betraying not just you but also everybody who is sticking to it. She is also displaying a lack of respect for everyone who is benefiting from the lowered risk of infection.

Roommate gone for night looking fun

But if everybody did it, lots of people would be maimed or killed. So we have a policy that forbids it, even though many Americans might wish to experience the thrill. Breaching it is reckless and antisocial.

Roommate gone for night looking fun

Doing so regularly is even worse. But she and her boyfriend are disregarding yours. She needs to open her eyes. But you need to agree on a serious commitment to safe practices. That means treating your roommate and her boyfriend as if they were infectious.

Roommate gone for night looking fun

Given the incidence of asymptomatic carriers, they may well be shedding the virus as you may be, too. So you would be justified in behaving accordingly and you would be justified in asking your roommate to follow suit. What would this look like? All three of you need to wash your hands properly, of course, in the way we have now all learned, whenever you enter the apartment. But there should be an agreement, as well, that you will keep out of spaces she and her partner are occupying, and vice versa.

This will require a schedule for the use of shared spaces. But there are many others available. A mask, even a makeshift one, may somewhat reduce your chances of getting the virus if her boyfriend brings it in, will discourage you from touching your face and should remind you and, perhaps, them to be vigilant. Everyone in your household should sanitize all surfaces, tableware and cookware after each use and practice proper hand hygiene before putting things away. And so on.

Roommate gone for night looking fun

Perhaps, after contemplating what is necessary to keep you safe from her decisions, your roommate will reconsider one of the more reasonable options you have already proposed. Can I Object?

Roommate gone for night looking fun Roommate gone for night looking fun

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My Roommate’s Boyfriend Still Visits Despite the Outbreak. Can I Object?