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Any couple considering or contemplating taking their private problems to a complete stranger in couples therapy may wonder: What will we talk about? Will the therapist take sides? Will the therapist be able to solve the problem? These are just a few of the many questions that Beautiful couple seeking dating Spokane around taking the first steps to couples therapy.
I want to give some clarity on the effectiveness of couples counseling, as well as some very pragmatic ideas that surround the experience. I have found two foundational components to be the most impactful for any couple seeking therapy. The first is the presenting problem that the couple is experiencing, and the second is the relationship they form with the counselor. Many couples seek therapy when they experience a phase of life impasse or are trying to reconcile an affair, infidelity, or emotional betrayal.
Each issue for which a couple seeks help presents very different and highly nuanced variables. For example, a couple who has recently experienced a long-term affair is probably bringing to counseling a great deal of emotional and psychological pain surrounding shame, guilt, deception, and distrust. Conversely, a couple who is seeking counseling because they have difficulty working out the division of labor regarding childrearing may be experiencing high levels of irritation and frustration. Each couple is experiencing discomfort.
However, the level of discomfort directly influences the counseling and timetable. Unfortunately, when it comes to individual matters of the heart and mind, there is no secret recipe. This is important idea for couples to think about before you begin couples therapy. If you have experienced years of emotional and psychological trauma, you should walk into couples therapy expecting that it will take time to unearth and explore the issues. From my standpoint and every counselor I know, we want to help you, and we want to be working ourselves out Beautiful couple seeking dating Spokane a job.
Counseling is a process that involves time and energy. If you enter couples therapy with the expectation that the counselor will be able to solve all your problems within a matter of a few sessions, then couples counseling may appear to not work. However, if you p that the duration of counseling should reflect the merit and attention the difficulties your marriage is experiencing, then you will be more than happy to give the time needed to work and grow back to health and prosperity.
As cliche and foretold as it is, this is one of the most common and fear-provoking elements of couples counseling — which le me to my next point: the importance of finding the right counselor. The majority of couples I see come to me because the husband asked to specifically see a male counselor to hedge against them feeling bullied or teamed up on during the session.
It has been said that when a client walks into a first session it takes about ten seconds for them to decide whether the counselor can help them or not. If you are not experiencing that with your couples counselor, you may want to raise the red flag. How do you do that? The same way you found a babysitter, the church you attend, the friends you surround yourself with, or the new car or ice cream flavor you decided to buy.
You are your biggest advocate. I urge you to search and look for that perfect fit. Moreover, the first and most important factor in any therapeutic relationship is not the tools they teach you, the behaviors they help you modify, or thoughts they help you reduce; it the fundamental human connection they make with you.
When we feel that someone else genuinely wants to help us, we feel motivated and energized to help ourselves. It is within this simplistic framework that the magic happens and the lightbulb moments are able to materialize. More often than not, couples come into counseling looking for the secret recipe or ingredient to solve their problem.
One person brings their list of items they want the other to change, and visa versa. They both stare at the counselor, hoping they will receive a set of instructions tailor made to cause a chain reaction of positivity and change.
Every person who walks into my office never fails to surprise and amaze me with their level of uniqueness and individuality. People are beautiful mosaics in and of themselves, and when a couple enters my room, the stained glass window that they have become is filled with pieces that never existed before they met.
So, does couples therapy work? When you as a couple are ready to mirror the help you need with the issues you are facing and have found the right counselor, wonderful progress can be made. As your counselor, I bring a great amount of excitement and hope about what Christ can do in your life. I look forward to ing you in the journey of healing and discovery.
articles by Nathan ». Have you given up hope for your married sex life? Every marriage experiences highs and lows in the bedroom. Nathan Bauder. Does Couples Therapy Work? Adjusting Your Expectations I have found two foundational components to be the most impactful for any couple seeking therapy.
Like us if you are enjoying this content. Nathan is currently not accepting new clients. In office and online counseling is available if needed.Beautiful couple seeking dating Spokane
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